Glimpses.

I often get frustrated with my limitations and my weaknesses.  I've cried out to God on many occasions, begging to know WHY--Lord, couldn't I do so much more for you if I didn't have these chains holding me back, if I were free, if I were whole?

Every time, He's gently reassured me that He is sovereign and that He sees the big picture.  He takes my hand in His and whispers, Daughter, for this moment in time, you can bring me more glory through suffering well than through being healed.  Trust me.  Believe me.

I trust His words wholeheartedly, and His words alone would be enough if that's all He ever gave me. But recently He's chosen to give me glimpses into some of the ways He's using my suffering to bring glory to Himself and to speak into the lives of others.  It's been truly humbling to see and hear of others moved by my faith and my story, because I know that there is nothing good in me other than Him and that I would have lost all hope long ago if He had not sustained me.

Through these tiny glimpses, God is breathing life into me just as He did to Adam in the garden.  He's renewing me.  He's giving me strength to continue to suffer well, even when I don't know what tomorrow holds.  He's saying, Well done, My Child.  Keep striving.  Keep trusting Me.