Never a dull moment.

If I ever say my life is dull, please correct me.

Since August 13, I haven't spent more than 4 consecutive nights in any one place--in any one city, for that matter.

Here's a recap of my week in case you haven't heard:

I had a spinal tap on Friday in New Orleans.  It wasn't nearly as painful as I was anticipating--not at first, at least.  Sunday afternoon I began feeling really sick.  I had an extra bad headache that kept getting worse and worse.  I had to leave class to lie down in the hall on Monday.  It finally got so bad that I called a friend and asked her to take me to the Emergency Room.  I explained to the ER doctor how I was feeling and that I thought it was a spinal fluid leak from the spinal tap I'd had.  He said that was likely the issue, and even confirmed the procedure I knew had to be done to correct it.  However, in keeping with the great luck I always have, no one in the area is licensed to do the procedure.  Thankfully, Mom and Dad were able to come pick me up and a doctor who a nurse friend works with was able to squeeze me in Tuesday morning between patients.  They did an epidural blood patch, which was way simpler and less painful than it sounds.  The patch worked (or has so far).  I've never been so thankful for my normal headache.

The spinal tap, as troublesome as it was, may have provided some insight on the source of my headache.  Unfortunately, the key word here is may.  My spinal pressure was on the low end of normal.  My doctor said this may mean I have a spinal leak, which (as I now know so well, thanks to my spinal tap experience) causes headaches.  The test they can do to find a spinal fluid leak is called a cisternogram.  It involves injecting a radioactive isotope into my spine and taking pictures.  Sounds easy, except they also have to put cotton wisp things (called plegets) into each of my sinus cavities--all six--and leave them there for 24 hours and then test them for spinal fluid.  I would have this test done in a heartbeat, but there are lots of ifs.  The test is not always conclusive; it doesn't always show a leak if there is one.  Even if they do find a leak, depending on where it is, it may not be able to be fixed.  Also, my spinal pressure only hints that there may be a leak.  If I were not also unresponsive to medication, the doctor would not have even suggested I have the test done.

I do have another option for treatment that sounds a little less painful.  I can have occipital nerve blocks, which sometimes stop headache pain.  If the injections worked, they would do them again a few weeks later to make sure there was no placebo effect.  If it worked three times, they would implant a nerve stimulator under the skin that would keep the nerve from causing pain.

I'm a little overwhelmed with the decisions I have to make on what to do next and with all that's been happening.  However, I'm also a little overwhelmed with how many people care about me--in the best possible sense.  I told only a handful of people about what was going on Monday, and my parents only told one or two people, but I can't even count the number of people who told us they were praying for us.  People I've never met prayed for me Monday.  I'm so grateful for the loving people my Father has placed in my life.  The prayers of God's people are a beautiful thing.

Back to square one.

The detox diet was going great...  but then Phi Lamb officer retreat happened.

I spent the weekend at a retreat center in San Antonio.  As you may guess, following a no-carbs, no-sugar diet is pretty much impossible when you're eating camp food.  I did as well as I could, but they didn't offer eggs and plain chicken at every meal.  Nor did the airports. 

Yesterday was the first day I've been completely back on the diet.  It was like day one all over again.  My body sort of went into shock again with the diet change.  I spent nearly all day today in bed.  If things go the same way as last time, though, tomorrow will be better, and Thursday will be even better than tomorrow.  I'm holding on.  I can so do this.

In other news, I start classes tomorrow.  And it's supposed to rain.  Not only will I get wet walking between classes, but I'll be sick.  Gotta love summer showers.  I'm also going to enter an essay contest.  Almost 6800 people entered it last year, so I may not have a great chance of winning, but you never know unless you try.

Detox day four.

I'm continuing the candida detox diet as instructed by the voodoo specialist. I'm not going to lie, it's been pretty terrible. I'm persevering, though. It was much easier today than it was the first three days. Today I got full. It was a great feeling. I never realized how good it was until I starved myself for a few days.

I'm trying to find things I can eat, since I can't eat anything I used to like. I ate green beans and eggs the first couple of days. That gets old really quickly, for those of you who've never tried it. I went back to the chiropractor on Monday and she sent me to both the health food store and the veggie section of the grocery store. At the health food store I got some crackers made out of pecans and rice that taste like pork rinds. They wouldn't be so bad if I didn't picture pig skin every time I ate one. I got some bread made out of spelt that's pretty good if you think organic when you eat it. (If anybody knows what spelt is, let me know. It would be nice to know what it is I'm eating.) I also got some amino acids that taste just like soy sauce. And it's in a spray bottle. I was pretty excited about that one. At the grocery store I got carrots, asparagus, squash, and sweet potatoes--none of which I like. I started with the sweet potatoes, cooking them a way the doctor suggested. I got two bites in before I couldn't stand it anymore. I even coated the second with the vegan soy sauce, hoping it would mask the flavor; but then it was just soy sauce and sweet potato--which is even more gross.

I'm still trying to like vegetables. I'm going to be on this crazy little diet for a month. I can't eat fake toast and fake soy sauce for every meal. Who knows, maybe once I forget what chocolate and french fries taste like, vegetables will be delicious.

Yeast.

I went to the chiropractor Friday.  It definitely made my top ten list of strange life experiences.  First, the chiropractor talked to me for a while, asking questions about my medical history, diet, etc.  That was the only "normal" part of the visit.  I lay down on the table, and she asked me to hold my leg out to the side.  She pushed on it and asked me to resist her.  She did this on all my limbs--legs, arms, elbows, hands.  In some places I couldn't resist her.  So she'd poke around on my leg or back and then try again.  I don't know what magic she did, but after all that poking I could resist her no problem.  Then she started back with the places where I could resist her.  She asked me to put my fingers in a certain place on my body--collarbone, bottom of my ribcage, top of my head.  With my fingers in one of those certain places, I couldn't resist her when she pushed on my leg anymore.  So she'd poke around and try again, and I was strong again of course.

Near the end of the appointment, the doctor/magician decided to test me for candida, which is an overgrowth of yeast in the body.  I'm thinking blood test, maybe even a urine sample.  No, that's for mortal doctors.  Dr. G said, "If the body needs something, when we put it on your stomach, it will make itself stronger."  I'm thinking, there's no way!  She asked me to stand and hold out my right arm.  She pushed on it like she did all those times before and could move it a pretty good bit.  Then she handed me a vial and told me to hold it next to my stomach.  I don't know what kind of voodoo was in that vial, but when she pressed on my arm while I was holding the vial, she couldn't move it.  If I hadn't felt it myself, I'd tell you it was all nonsense, but she was pushing harder than before, and it was no problem to resist her.  I looked around the room for incense or voodoo dolls.  If there were any, they hid them well.

Since Dr. G couldn't move my arm when I held that little vial next to my stomach, she diagnosed me with candida.  I'm on this crazy diet now.  No fruit, no cheese, no milk, no soda, no peanuts, no bread, no mushrooms, no potatoes, no corn, no white rice, no pasta, no sugar, no honey, no corn syrup, no ketchup, no mayonnaise, no barbecue sauce, no breaded meat.  Basically I can eat meat, brown rice, nuts (minus peanuts and pistachios), and green beans.  I also have to take 6 probiotic pills a day and 3000 mg of garlic pills.

I can hardly eat anything for two weeks, but it gets better.  Because my body has had so much yeast for so long, when it starts dying it makes me sick.  I feel so nauseous I might pass out, I'm itchy, and I crave sugar like a crackhead without her crack.

It's going to be a fun week.

If you're intrigued, here's a site that's entirely devoted to candida.  Real doctors know about it, too, it seems.

http://www.thecandidadiet.com/