Dairy-free is the way to be.

I'm currently trying this no-dairy thing in hopes that it will alleviate some of my ailments.  I started on Monday.  At first I was thinking, Shoot, this is going to be easy--I don't even like milk!  Wrong.  Milk is in everything--even Spaghetti-O's.

No ice cream.
No cheese.
No pizza.
No pancakes.
No ranch dressing.
No poppy seed chicken.
No sour cream.
No chocolate.

The list goes on and on and on and on.  I'm not so much complaining as I am sharing my state of shock with the world.  I went through my entire kitchen this afternoon (which is very well stocked), and all I found that I can eat is grapes, bread, fish, chicken nuggets, rice, and noodles.  I think a non-dairy excursion to the grocery store just made itself into my agenda. 

In all actuality, I really hope this dairy-less lifestyle helps my digestive system.  I can totally find an alternative to poppy seed chicken if it comes down to it.  If you know any good dairy-free recipes, please share.  I'm going to get tired of rice and grapes pretty soon.

Praxis.

I took the Praxis today--two of them.  It's a little scary to think my eligibility as a teacher depends on two tests.  What's scarier, though, is hearing all of the people taking the test with me talk about how they've taken it before and didn't pass.  That is slightly disconcerting to me on two levels:  1) It means the test isn't a breeze, so I may not have done so hot, and 2) it means a whole lot of teachers don't know their stuff.  The fact that they were there for the second or third time, however, means they're perseverant.  They care enough about being a teacher to pay boocoodles of money and endure a long and boring test multiple times.  I guess that's a good thing.  And I'd rather have a teacher who really wants to be a teacher than one who is a genius but could care less about the students.

One of the tests asked me super random questions, it seemed.  I have one teacher who is always telling us, "Pay attention to this; there are questions about it on the Praxis," or "I wrote my test questions in true/false format because there are true/false questions like this on the Praxis."  I didn't see any of the things she quizzed us on to make sure we were ready, and I didn't see a single true/false question.  Maybe I should tell her she needs to start teaching about nose bleeds instead.

Feeling like myself.

It's been a rough week--or really a rough two or three weeks.  I've been stuck in this perpetuating cycle where I do too much and so I get a terrible migraine, but then I still have so much to do, so I have to work every moment I can stand to sit up, so I work way slower than I normally would, and then I get no rest so I get even more sick.  I've been waiting all week for a day to catch my breath, so to speak.

That day is here!

I am officially caught up on my school work.  It feels nice.  I still have a million things on my to-do list, but I'm trying not to think about that right now.

I didn't realize just how good I was feeling (relatively) until I tried to sit down and watch a movie and got bored. A couple of years ago, back before I got so sick, I was terrible at watching movies.  I would try to sit down and watch one, but I would only think of all the other things I needed to do and get up and do them; or I'd get bored within the first ten minutes and find something else to do.  I've taken up watching movies in the past year or so, though.  Last summer I lay in bed all day every day and watched movies.  But tonight, I couldn't do it.  I feel like myself.  Welcome back, non-movie-watching self!  I've been missing you.

The future.

Thinking about the future always scares me.  In less than a year, I'll have a degree, which means I need to know what the next step is.  There are lots of things I want to do, but I don't know what I can do.  So much of my future depends on my health--something I didn't think I would have to say until I was 90.  I'm pretty good about avoiding thinking about the future, but every once in a while the 22-year-old girl in me has its way and I can't help myself.

A few things have happened this weekend that have got me thinking about the future again.  Where will I be in a year?  Will I stay in school or get a job?  Will I get married?  Have kids?  Will I be able to do any of those things?  So many questions and uncertainties.

It can be a little scary to think about.  I'm one of those have-to-have-a-plan people.  It's a great thing I have an always-has-a-plan God.  The future--even tomorrow--is so out of my control and so unpredictable.  As hard as that is sometimes, it's really comforting too.  Even if I don't know the plan, God does.  Even if I don't think I can do the things I may be called to do, I have a Father who holds my hand every step of the way.  That makes me even excited about what tomorrow holds--because I know who's holding tomorrow.