Thursday, April 2, 2015

Community.

Having a chronic illness can be very isolating.  I know people love me and care about me, but my limitations make it difficult to maintain friendships and I tend to keep people at arm's length a lot of times because I don't want them to really see what's inside and decide it's too much for them (This has happened before.)

Last night I felt good enough to go to my growth group; I've missed the past several weeks.  There were only five of us there and these sweet ladies all started genuinely asking how I've been.  For some reason, I went with the real, honest, raw truth this time.  I shared my frustrations and my fears.  I cried.  They cried.  I can't remember the last time I felt so loved or felt so safe.  There is nothing they can physically do to make my life any less challenging right now, but just allowing them to share that emotional burden felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.  And now I know I have a deeper connection with each of those four ladies because I've trusted them with a piece of my heart.

God calls us to live in community, but I don't think I had ever seen the fullness of what that meant for me until last night in that cozy living room with those dear friends.

Ladies, if ever you happen to read this, thank you for allowing God's love to flow through you.  Thank you for making me feel safe enough to be vulnerable.  I've been pondering your kind words all day.  You are beautiful souls, and I'm blessed to know you.