I forget.

I'm getting better. I forget that a lot. I focus so much on what I can't do that I forget what I can do. And I can do a million times more than I could just a few months ago. I spent Friday night and Saturday morning running around with one shoe on in search of toothpicks and nail clippers, shuffling my buns around a circle of chairs evading being squished, building a tower out of newspapers, jumping rope, searching for a traffic cone blindfolded, and all the other things an overnight stay with thirty girls entails. There were narcotics involved, but I would have had to go to bed even thinking about doing those things a few months ago.

I forget to be thankful for small improvements. When I start getting better, I want to be as healthy as I was before. After Friday night and Saturday (which was WAY more than I've done in well over a year), I was upset that I had to back out on hanging out with friends Saturday night. Which is silly. I'm getting better. I just have to keep taking care of myself. And maybe next time I'll be able to do a little bit more. And maybe one day this won't be controlling my life anymore.